Bitchfaces. Y’all. Shady dirtbag hos in the back row, how is everyone tonight?
Fantastic, as am I. I’m in North Florida, the fucking woods. Puffin is verbally harassing some sand hill cranes, and pretending she’s Dora the fucking Backwood Explorer. It’s probably the cutest thing I’ve seen this year.
I am not involved in the crane molestation, because I’m terrified of giant birds. They are not docile, they’ll get down to pterodactyl business if need be.
I’ll be up here all week, I’m seeing some things and maybe talking to people. Depends. I set out with the plan of talking to people often, and it quickly devolves into anxiety and seeing exactly how much communication I can get handled via text because people make me awkward.
If you’ve had the opportunity to see my awkward ass in person, you know exactly what I mean. It’s ridiculous.
So, professionally, my week thus far has been tiara and sash worthy. I’ve made quite a spectacle of myself about it everywhere, so I’m sure you’ve all been noticing my ego waltzing in and fucking princess waving everywhere. No, I won’t be reining it in, I don’t wanna deal with it either.
Y’all know.
Personally, it’s been interesting. I’m smiling a lot because the braces are off, and people keep acting like it’s on purpose. It isn’t. I would like that noted for the record.
I’m in the woods, and at probably one of the best honey holes I’ve ever visited. Gator free lake in the front yard, off the paved road by at least 3 turns, and when I say quiet, well, I keep scaring the piss out of myself sitting on the deck. It feels like I’m in another dimension. Bizarro Florida.
It’s not The Bay, that’s for sure.
However, I needed a change. I was feeling like a Bitchface on a leash, and that’s repulsive. Now that I’m here, I have no fixed plans to do much else, and I think that sounds good to me. So, if y’all looking for me, I’m out in the sticks. Good reception though, so I can be found.
Puffin and I will be harassing the local wildlife and acting like tourist assholes if anyone needs us. That’s it. Pass us our SPF 652 and don’t hit the sand hill cranes on your way out.
Love,
Q
Circumstances had me living in Crestview. That's a half hour from the western Fla border. Lower friggin' Alabama as far as I'm concerned! Don't get me wrong, both NW Fl and SW AL, are beautiful countryside. The fishing, both salt and freshwater was amazing. It's the people there that I just couldn't abide. That includes my sister, and her kids. I don't speak yeehaw and I'm near deaf. Trying to decipher just wtf anyone was saying annoyed me beyond words. Anyway, hope you enjoy your vacay April. Try not to get eaten by a bear! lol
Hope you brought the bug spray too! And now I wish I was still in J'ville (temporarily of course)