Today, I started to rebuild. I started with AaBF II. I’ve already gone back to work, so that has been on the front burner. I’m guess I’m trying to catch some sort of traction.
It seems like I have so much to say, but every time I go to explain it, I just don’t have the words to convey how heavy it is. I have too much on my heart at the moment, and to say anything means I have to say it all. That’s just too much for me right now.
I think I’m just overwhelmed today. I spent a lot of time in my head, and that’s never a good place to be. The holidays, all that craziness, it’s a lot to come home to.
Things are good though. Really, it’s been okay. I really am going to be okay. I know one day I’ll be able to talk about the things that bother me, and forget about the things that still strike a nerve, and there will be some sort of balance there.
Today, I focused on getting the gang back together. It gives me something to laugh about, something that isn’t serious and doesn’t make me get too emotional. As long as I stay in the shallow end, I know I’m not going to drown.
I’ll put it back together. Brick by brick. Piece by piece. Like a fucking block mason down here in The Bay.
Let’s hope tomorrow is a little bit better. I hope y’all are in a better frame of mind, and not arguing with your in-laws, or your dumb ass kid brother that’s always trying to borrow money. Don’t forget that dogs need stockings, too, and presents. Lots of presents.
Merry Christmas.