Bitchfaces…Y’all check this shit out. My old club was on the news today for some fucking looney toon trying to go in and shoot up the joint.
He picked the wrong place. Joe does not play the fucking radio about security. At all. I’ve seen some shit go down at the titty bars, but never at one of Joes clubs. And I have never once worried about my own safety there.
So, about 1:30 this morning, 44-year-old Michael Rudman decides to put on a devil mask, write some crazy shit on his arms, tuck his pistol in his pants, and go shoot up the titty bar. What he doesn’t count on is this is not that type of joint. The Mons is an institution in Tampa. Get the fuck outta here with that shit.
So, three of the security guys, Manny Resto, Danny Baham and an unnamed third, go to handling this dude. I actually know Manny from the circuit and worked with him at another establishment. He was pistol whipped multiple times, and dude still only managed to get one shot off that apparently went through the door, but nobody was hurt by any gunfire.
Cops come, they find a fuckton of knives, more ammo, and some other crazy asshole accessories in the guy’s vehicle. He had a whole mayhem plan mapped out, but clearly he didn’t think the doormen at the titty bar were about that business.
Wrong.
They are 100% about that business.
There are lots of joints that would probably make a decent lick. This was not one of those selections. Dude chose quite poorly.
Also, having “kill” written on your arm and any other indication of you being a fucking whackjob…probably not the best plan for getting in the door.
What in the actual fuck is taking place down here in The Bay? Maybe it’s these new mosquitos? I don’t know, I’m not one of the supersmart science bitches who usually answers these type of questions.
Uh, let’s see what else. Rapper got jumped at the gym. Disney just shot the bird to DeSantis, throwing a big ass glittery party. I might wear my ribbon halo after all this year. Depends on how these new mosquitos turn out, if they’re zombie fuel, I can’t attend.
Obviously.
Jesus. I really don’t know y’all.
Florida. You’re making me fucking look bad.
Allright, I Got Nothing, Florida Is Insane...
It gets increasingly difficult to justify living here. Sigh.
I remember a time, that i was proud to say I'm a Miami native. I think DeSatan is messing with the water!