Now, as we’re all aware, I normally come here after the fact with all that dumb shit like, “oh, no…who could have foreseen this dumb shit?”, knowing good and damned well anyone with eyeballs saw that shit coming from 4 miles back.
Allow me to digress rather quickly, as I’m clearly in a whole tizzy. I’m at the intersection of Doing & The Dumb Shit and it’s looking like an imminent collision. I’m talking about busted glass and airbag burns, Bitchfaces, and then y’all know exactly what I’m going to do.
“I can’t believe none of you Bitchfaces told me I was clearly going to wind up in the Dumb Shit”.
I know, I really can’t believe me either. Fucking horrible, I don’t know why y’all tolerate my idiocy, honestly. There has to be some other poet turned advice columnist sometimes Antihero Bitchface out there that would make much better company.
Wh- what’s that? Ssssss. That’s right. I bought the rights to all that shit. Well, I’ll be damned. I guess I’m the bitch in the basket then.
Speaking of baskets, I’m weaving the one I’m riding into hell currently, but I should have it wrapped up by around 2, 3 am.
Anyhoo, y’all know how I do that limerence thing, right. Like, if we were to obtain a copy of the DSM-5, it would tell us exactly this:
Limerence meaning is a state of mind where a person is obsessed with another person and has a strong desire for emotional reciprocation123.
Yeah. That’s not fucking healthy. Who does that type of shit?
Ah. Goddammit. I do. I do that type of shit.
Well, if that’s not the dumbest fuc-
I digress.
I know factually I should sit my ass down somewhere and get it together. Brush my glossy hair, run a rice sheet over my face, and look like I have some good sense. But, the problem is I just don’t have any. I think what happened was, y’all remember when I was cleaning out the pantry a few months back, that was definitely when I last saw it.
After that, just a mystery really.
*glances in pantry*
It’s definitely not here, y’all. I probably donated it. It was right around Easter, I think. Yeah. Tossed them nasty ass marshmallow chicks in that same box. Because I like my teeth.
Hm. Well. That settles that then.
I tried. Dug through this whole damned pantry at least once. I don’t think there’s anything I can do. *frowns* Shame. It’s a real shame.
I’m gonna need to be more careful with those donation boxes. That could have been some shit I needed. Something important. Like French Fried onions. I’d have been big fucking mad if it was the French Fried onions.
Dodged a fucking bullet, and barely.
If only you could hear the full exasperation of my sigh. But also....low key jealous I never meet anyone worth obsessing over Lol
Wommmmaaaannnnn