After Serving As A Surrogate Superhero...
I think a PSA is pretty much obligatory at this point.
Last night, I had to call in my team. I say last night, but it was really almost dawn by the time I sat down and thought about the scenarios I’m seeing a lot of women in these days.
I sent Rach and Brian a message. I tell them the exact time that I will be back inside the house after doing some work that is probably one day going to get me hurt. When I sent the “I’m allright”, they both let me know that they were waiting to hear it.
I love my team.
Last night the woman was fresh out of a 30 year marriage, and I know them personally, so I’m not going to detail anything further on that right now. He has phone spoofed and spywared her electronic devices, and even at this moment, I am running a check on my own.
Ladies, do you do the “track your spouse” routine through your electronic devices? This is not me judging anyone, this is me sincerely asking you the question. I, of course, cannot give an answer to this. I would like to say that I wouldn’t, but as you all know, I can’t hold a marriage together to save my life, so what the fuck do I know?
I am interested though…do you share locations with your spouse via your apps? Do you share bank accounts? I know that I have a very hard and fast rule about my bills and my money. However, that rule has been finely honed by too many times waking up to find that the person I trusted with my ATM pin should not have been trusted.
But some of my readers have great relationships, and I would like to know, am I overreacting when I tell these women that they need at bare minimum a savings account that is in their name only? Am I paranoid when I say that I will never have a location sharing app, and that I won’t use an app that requires me to share my location?
After last night, and knowing that a woman had been tracked so that her husband could have his sexual partners out of their shared home before she got back, I would say I’m probably not overreacting, but y’all know I have a tendency to jump on the train down to Extremeville.
I would love to get y’alls thoughts on this. If anyone has anything they would like to share, please see me in the comments. Of course, I’ll always respect your privacy if you want to email me at msmacon@askabitchface.com.
On the off chance that someone may want my opinion, here it is. It sucks that we live in a world where honor has become a minimum wage virtue and loyalty seems to have a shelf life. I don't know if the rules that governed those ideals were ever as resolute as I thought them to be and it is very possible that as a kid I took things from the Boy Scout Manual and foolishly rewrote them in stone in my mind. But to me, those were things that I assumed were almost a universal code of conduct in which most everybody used to navigate through life. I just took that for granted. But it turns out that once again, I was wrong. Or so it would seem. The advice of always having a personal contingency plan seems so counter-intuitive to the nurturing of a relationship as to almost being a part of the catalyst that will eventually destroy that relationship. It shouldn't have to be that way. But sadly, it is that way. I have come to believe that humans are actually incapable of true loyalty. We can fake it. And actually truly believe it to be a tangible thing. Something solid and unbreakable. But when the common wants and needs that are shared between people diverge, for whatever reason, then those once rock-solid concepts of loyalty and trust can easily turn to vapor.
I have experienced personally that gut-punch feeling of having the rent check bounce only to find out that that the person that I had vowed allegiance to, and she to me, had emptied the bank account and escaped to some crystal meth utopian pipe dream. And that was without the convenience of even a shared bank account. Apparently, it is not all that difficult to empty somebody's account. What my ex-wife did was kind of brilliant, in a devious Lex Luther kind of way. She opened up a bank account online at the same bank that used, and then, armed only with my Social Security number and my Mothers maiden name she added herself to my account then transferred everything into her new account and withdrew it all. She did everything, apart from the actual withdrawal, from a computer. My point is, that even if you can't fathom doing something like that to someone to whom you claim to love, that doesn't mean that they won't do it to you.
I agree to this solid advice and echo what Sean said quite eloquently. Shouldn't have to be that way if you find yourself in a "great relationship" (what even is that?), but sadly, it is that way. Separate savings accounts, no tracking app nonsense. Lets hear it for autonomy!