4 Reasons Military Guys Are The Shit...
And probably some of my own reasons sprinkled in here somewhere...
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, y’all knew it wouldn’t be long before we were on this bullshit. So, let’s just get it out of the way, then we’ll all go back to our respective lives, and pretend like we’re actually out here trying to have some sort of a social life.
If any of you ask me any questions that allude to the fact that I’ve given up trying, I’m going to answer you like a Bitchface. As far as y’all know, I’m actively dating and super thrilled about it. I can’t keep up with my social calendar. I’m just flitting about like a fucking social butterfly. All of that and some more.
We’ve talked before of my love for military men. I was married to a Marine, engaged to another Marine, and I loved the hell out of both of them. I dated a Ranger for a while, and have been affiliated with a bunch of dudes from all branches of the service, because I absolutely love military guys. Except Coasties, and y’all know why, don’t even act surprised.
I have hundreds of reasons that military guys are better, but I’m going to give you the top 4 reasons you should consider getting yourself a military guy for Valentine’s Day. And, no, none of them are they look great in dress blues, although they really fucking do.
He has reasons bigger than himself.
He may be trying for the GI Bill, or maybe his daddy was military. He might want to see the world, or he may just really love guns and the desert. He has reasons, most of the time they’re to do better, be better, or measure up. I am all for someone who wants to improve themselves and their lives. It makes sense to me, and it takes something to sincerely want to be better than the person you are today.
He has been somewhere other than where you are.
I know some people right now that would tell you they’ve never been outside of the county I live in. I think that is the saddest, most horrible way to view the world, from the rinky dink ass swamp you’ve never left. How can you learn anything if you’ve never been anywhere? You’ve only seen the things in your bubble, you can’t possibly know anyone different from you.
Military men have been all over. My friend Tom is a career Army man, we’ve been friends since elementary school. He has spent probably 15 of his years in the service in S. Korea. He is married to a Korean woman, a couple of cute kids, and loves the hell out of his wife and job.
He is from a tiny ass town in Alabama, where his family still lives on land his people used to sharecrop, after they bought it from their former owner. What would have become of my friend if he stayed in that place? Nothing good. Nothing like what he has now. His cousin’s criminal history attests to that. Military guys have not only been some places, they’re going some places. Much better places than they came from, most of the time.
He doesn’t have a problem being the good guy.
You know how there are those situations where you wish someone would stand up for the underdog, or break up the tension because there’s an asshole in the midst? The “wish you could sink into the floor, you’re so embarrassed for them”, situations? I always want a good guy to come along and fix those times.
Anytime I’ve ever seen a good guy stand up in a situation like that, it’s been one of the soldiers in my life. They don’t mind being the good guy, they typically have a pretty firm grip on right and wrong, and they’ll let you know when you’re out of pocket, because you can’t scare them. Uncle Sam already did all that.
I don’t need a hero, mostly because the heroes I know taught me how to handle myself. But if I did need one, you can bet your ass I know who I would call. Every military man I know is, at his core, a good dude. I have some that follow the column (hey, I totally love y’all so fucking much), and some that I know in my own little world, and they’re all just good people. Supportive people. God love ‘em, they even deal with me pretty well.
The man can take care of you, them, him, and some more folk.
I have a full on zombie apocalypse plan, and I have openly talked about it. Roll back your podcasts, I’m not playing. No part of that plan includes dragging around some dude who can’t shoot, can’t handle hand to hand combat, and can’t eat MRE’s because they’re not gluten free.
Zombies aside, you really never know what may happen. I don’t want to be stuck somewhere with a guy who has no fucking idea what he’s doing and no idea how to get us out of it. I want to be stuck with the guy who’s going to have a fire lit, a shelter built, and some sort of animal on a spit before the sun goes down. You know who can do all of that? Yes, bitch, military men can do that.
They got skills, bitch, really they do. And I’m not an idiot, I can do a lot of things, but if you put me in a survival situation, I’m probably going to freak the fuck out. Guess who isn’t? Right again, boo, the military dude is cool, calm and collected, and developing an exit strategy as I’m typing about my panic attack.
So, if you have a military guy interested in you, you’re a dummy if you don’t get yourself dusted off and ready for Cupid. They’re just all around awesome, and I wouldn’t tell you something I don’t know about. And, remember they had to sign a contract with Uncle Sam, so you know their asses can commit.
God Bless America, baby. Get a soldier, they’re more than just hot dudes in uniform, they’re a whole force to be reckoned with.
We also learn to tolerate shit better than most. (Navy Vet) Also there's the whole USAA thing which causes the insurance agents at the county fair to just deflate when you tell them.. which IS highly entertaining every time.
😍🤤leme pick my jaw up off the floor 1st Gawd damnit woman! 😂🙌I have no social life really at all but now u got me wondering if there's a military men app or website?🤔Bc how awesome would that be?😏