Hello, Bitchfaces. I hope all of you are well, etc. etc. I most certainly am not any worse for the wear as of late. Don’t worry, I’ll fuck that up here shortly, because as we all know, it’s what I do.
On to easier problems to solve. Do any of y’all have a Maury type of family story? No, not the fighting your sister over your broke ass baby daddy type, the other type. The “I found my family through DNA” type of story.
No, I’m not trying to be all in y’all beeswax for no reason. As you may or may not know, I am actually a real writer now, or at least for the time being, so I get all these press releases, and book promotion emails, and sometimes some other cool shit. Today, some of the cool shit.
There’s this restaurant who is willing to reunite you with your long-lost DNA match family for Mother’s Day, for the free. Medium Rare, the name of said restaurant, will send you and your cheek swabbed kinfolk to Baltimore, New Orleans, or DC to meet your people, and start the first of many fights over who is going to pick up the check. Or you could just do like I do and always stick your baby brother with the tab, because he clearly has more money than the rest of us, what with that gas guzzling ass snorkeled contraption of a Jeep he drives.
Clearly, I digress.
So, as I and this publicist who emailed me, were saying, if you have a story about finding your family through DNA testing and you would like to tell me about it, I would be happy to do that thing I do and see if we can’t win you and your people a trip. Because everyone deserves to have people they call family, and I’ve been so lucky to call y’all mine.
Hit a Bitchface up if you would like to bend my ear. I’m here on the Bitchface lines until the sun is up.
Love-
Q
Can you find me a new & improved family?
I got one of those brothers w/Jeep also